đ Healing the Inner Divide: Reclaiming the Exiled Parts of Ourselves
- Dominique Stelling
- Jun 20
- 3 min read
Thereâs a quiet ache many of us carryâthe feeling that some part of us is not welcome in the world.
Most of us, at some point in our lives, have learned to suppress parts of ourselves to fit in, feel safe, or be accepted. Whether itâs our sensitivity, intuition, creativity, sexuality, rage, joy, or even our softnessâmany of us have internalised the belief that certain aspects of our being are too much, not enough, or somehow wrong.
This is the beginning of what I call the inner divideâthe fragmentation of the self.
Pride Month, while often celebrated through the lens of sexual and gender identity, offers a deeper, more universal spiritual invitation: to come home to the fullness of who we are. To allow every part of ourselves to exist, to be seen, to be celebrated.
The Cost of Hiding
When we exile parts of ourselvesâwhether out of shame, trauma, or conditioningâwe lose touch with our natural coherence. The flow between mind, body, and spirit becomes disrupted. We begin to feel like something is missing, even if we canât name what it is.
This fragmentation can manifest in many ways:
Chronic stress, tension, or illness
Emotional reactivity or numbness
Burnout, confusion, or lack of direction
A sense of inner conflict, or disconnection from oneâs purpose
These arenât signs of failureâtheyâre signals from within, asking us to return. To look with love at the parts of ourselves weâve judged or buried, and to remember: wholeness is our true nature.
The Mandala of the Self
One of the practices I use in my work to support this inner reunification is the Mandala of the Self. Itâs a visual and energetic process where we create a sacred circleâeither physically or symbolicallyâusing crystals, stones, or small objects that each represent a part of ourselves.
Each item is placed with intention:
A black stone might represent grief or shadow.
A rose quartz may stand for tenderness or the inner child.
A shard of raw crystal could symbolise truth.
A golden piece might carry the essence of joy or sovereignty.
Some parts we tend to honour. Others, weâd rather leave out of view. But in this mandala, nothing is exiled. Everything belongs. Even the parts that were once hidden are now seen, acknowledged, and integrated into the whole.
What emerges is a living symbol of your inner worldâa masterpiece that reveals the beauty of wholeness, not perfection. Itâs not about fixing whatâs âwrong,â but celebrating whatâs real.
This practice helps us move out of fragmentation and back into coherence. It reminds us that the Divine doesnât operate through suppression, but through unity. Wholeness heals.
From Shame to Sovereignty
Healing the inner divide means turning toward ourselvesânot with judgment, but with love. It is the practice of remembering that every part of us holds a frequency, a message, a medicine.
When we bring these pieces back into alignment, we no longer feel scattered, small, or ashamed. We begin to stand in our centreâsovereign, grounded, at peace.
This is the Pure State: the felt sense of being whole and undivided.
And while this work is deeply personal, it also contributes to the collective. Because when we embody our wholeness, we naturally create space for others to do the same.
A Gentle Invitation
If you feel called, I invite you to create your own Mandala of the Self.
Find a quiet space. Gather stones, crystals, or objects that speak to you. Without overthinking, let each one represent a part of yourselfâloved or unloved, light or shadow. Place them in a circle.
As you create, allow yourself to feel. Witness what arises. You may be surprised at what you've pushed aside. Welcome it in.
Let this be your prayer:
âAll of me is welcome. All of me belongs.â
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