The Shift: Why Putting Yourself First Isn’t Selfish — It’s the Most Loving Thing You Can Do

There’s a message we’ve been taught since we were young—one that sounds noble on the surface, but runs us dry from the inside out:

Put others first.

Be selfless.

Don’t be selfish.

And here’s the thing—there’s nothing wrong with wanting to care for others. In fact, when it comes from a place of joy, generosity, and inner fullness, it’s one of the most beautiful expressions of alignment there is.

But the difference is how it feels.

When you’re giving because it feels genuinely good—because it lights you up, because you’re overflowing—that’s alignment.

But when you’re giving out of habit, guilt, or obligation—when it drains you, frustrates you, or leaves you feeling resentful—that’s misalignment.

Many of us have been taught to ignore that feeling. We’ve been trained to give even when it hurts, to serve even when we’re empty, to keep showing up for others no matter what’s happening inside.

And that’s the shift I want to offer you:

It’s not about whether you’re putting others first or not—it’s about how you feel when you do. Alignment isn’t a set of rules. It’s a relationship with how you feel. That’s what tells you whether you’re aligned with Source—or not.

Because Source is always here—steady, loving, and consistent. Source is always radiating clarity, ease, and wellbeing.

The question isn’t whether you’re connected.

The question is—are you in a place to receive?

When you’re in alignment with Source, you feel the warmth, the steadiness, the quiet knowing. When you’re out of alignment, it’s not that Source has gone anywhere—it’s that you’ve tuned yourself away from the signal.

And how you feel will always show you which way you’re facing.

What is Source, and what does alignment really mean?

Let’s keep it simple.

Source is the deeper part of you. The wise, loving, ever-present stream of energy that never stops flowing. You might call Source your soul, your higher self, or your inner being—but whatever name you use, Source is you at your clearest, your brightest, your most true.

And alignment is what happens when you match the perspective of Source—when you begin to feel and see the world the way Source sees it: with ease, with love, with trust in the unfolding.

Source doesn’t see your life as broken—Source sees it as expanding.

Source doesn’t see you as failing—Source sees you as evolving.

Source sees others as whole, your path as perfect, and your timing as divine.

And when you align, you begin to feel that way too. You don’t have to fake it. You don’t have to force a smile or talk yourself into positivity.

Instead, you access something real.

You access clarity.

You access relief.

You access a deeper sense of knowing that you’re okay, and that life is working out.

You stop chasing peace and start allowing it.

You stop reacting from pressure and start responding from presence.

That’s the power of alignment.

It’s not about pretending everything’s fine.

It’s about remembering that, at your core, everything already is.

And this is why putting yourself first matters so deeply.

If you’ve ever felt guilty for taking care of yourself—if you’ve paused to check in with your own needs and wondered if that made you selfish—this is your reminder:

It’s not selfish to care about how you feel. It’s essential.

Because when you’re aligned with Source—when you’re steady, clear, and tuned in—you have everything to give.

But when you’re out of alignment, giving becomes strained. It becomes sacrifice. And what you give from that place doesn’t uplift. It doesn’t replenish. It only deepens the disconnection.

It’s like the oxygen mask analogy on an airplane.

They always say: “Put your own mask on first before helping others.”

Not because it’s selfish—but because it’s necessary.

If you can’t breathe, you can’t think clearly.

If you’re panicked or depleted, you’re no good to yourself. And when you’re no good to yourself, you’re not able to truly help anyone else.

This isn’t just about emergencies—it’s true in everyday life.

Alignment is your oxygen.

It’s what keeps you present, energized, and whole. And from that space, what overflows from you is natural, effortless, and deeply true.

So if you’ve ever been told it’s selfish to care how you feel, let this land gently:

It’s not selfish to align with Source.

It’s not selfish to feel good.

It’s not selfish to put yourself first.

It’s the most loving thing you can do—for you, and for everyone you touch.

If this message speaks to something in you—if you feel the resonance of returning to yourself—I invite you to explore more.

You can find more on this in my article The Block, published in the June edition of this magazine. It explores how the emotional, financial, and spiritual “blocks” we experience are really just signs of misalignment—not signs that you’re broken.

And for a more personal, practical guide into this way of living, you can listen to my podcast, The Aligned Path, available now on Spotify.

Not as a method. Not as a fix.

But as a remembering.

A return to yourself.

A return to alignment.

A return to the truth: you’re not here to abandon yourself.

You’re here to feel good.

You’re here to put yourself first.

And from there—you have everything to give.

Glen Pankhurst